Sept 12, 2020
Today's adventure is something that strangely took me a long time to perfect. Every player I have ever flung my stories at has played it or, in the case of those players who sat at my table before I created this adventure, watched a new player run through it.
The new player part is crucial, experienced players have no need of The Orc and The Pie. This adventure is my version of a tutorial in a video game, except I do not offer a lot in the way of advice nor do I explain the controls. And inevitably there is a minute or two of the new player staring at me wondering what is going on as I repeatedly describe the same room. It can sometimes come across as being a bit cruel and I absolutely have had players get angry at me but every single one of them loves it after its done. It is considered a badge of honour at my table.
And for me, it lets me know exactly what kind of player this newcomer is going to be.
***
Step 1 -> Character Creation and The Inevitable Questions
Creating a character for a first timer can be stressful. Learning from zero how to do anything is taxing on most people and even if they've done some research, assume they are learning from zero. In fact, make sure they know that by saying it out loud. Here is the best line in my opinion:
"Have you looked up any of the rules or watched anyone play before?" Acknowledge what they say, don't be rude at all; that wouldn't do. But honestly it doesn't matter. No matter their experience level, just explain you will be explaining things as if they know nothing at all about the game.
As the new player sits down make it clear to everyone else at the table that your attention is going to be focused on the noob (but say it politely of course) so everyone else, here are the rules for character creation for this session. At my table this is usually a written or printed handout that lists any disallowed classes or races, stat ranges and generation options and starting gear. This sheet will be the focus of a Generalities article and because I just thought of it; probably the first one. Stay Tuned!
As you focus on the new player and walk them through the basics of the game and the character sheet (or equivalent depending on game) there will no doubt, as there always is, be interruptions. Other players will ask questions, try to make deals on starting gear or stats and otherwise be the nitpicky perfectionists you secretly love and hate them for being.
This is a good thing. The player you are helping get to see an unfiltered interaction between yourself and a more experienced player. Because you took the onus off of the experienced player in teaching the new player, they get to focus and create a better character and the new player gets a glimpse of the sort of things that can be done or are allowed; or more frequently, what you say no to.
You should not have to do anything too sneaky and watchful yet, just use your knowledge of the game to ask questions that help the player's choices. What do you consider more important: kicking the door down or picking the lock? Would you rather be healthy or smart? Do people tend to like you or do people kind of want you to go away?
These questions, in addition to helping you assign stats and skills like Dexterity, Likability or Stealthiness, you also can get an idea of what style this new player may be leaning towards playing. This can help with class and race as well. Someone who thinks an Orc is a badass noble warrior, will probably enjoy playing a Half-Orc Barbarian. Someone who places intelligence higher than strength may end up playing a Hacker. Another person may prefer to use the natural world for everything they need and brighten at the thought of using the supernatural powers of storms to blast the enemies of nature.
Remember it is not your character. Even if you think you can help make this new party member super badass, sometimes it is far more useful long term to let the new player make the mistake and forget to put points in persuasion for their silver tongued bard or magical knowledge for their wizard. They are mistakes, but they also become hurdles for the new player to succeed at overcoming.
Step 2 -> The Calm Before the Storm
Once you declare the new player's sheet is finished let the table wind down a little bit. Everyone else will likely have lingering questions to wrap up, maybe people need to use the bathroom or step outside for "fresh air." This is all perfect, let it happen.
All that pent-up stress from character creation now has a chance to relax back out of the new player. Let the table crack jokes and grab snacks as everyone settles back in to start the game.
Don't forget to hydrate at this point Dear Talky Human, you've done this before. Running a session without a drink is a great ay to talk yourself into a sore throat. Water is your friend.
Once everything is ready, the show begins.
Step 3 -> First Steps
Once everyone is ready, remind all the other players that they cannot interfere. A few introductions of new players and the table will be strangely silent. It happens every time for me and its eerie, usually my players talk over each other and tend to cycle louder and louder until I shush them.
Silence is also relative, there will be fun comments and quips. Just make sure no one gives any advice; the new player does not need it; they can do this. Positivity wins this day every time.
Step 4 -> The First Room
Read out loud:
"You feel yourself slowly coming awake, cold stone beneath you. You have with you (list notable pieces of the characters gear, if any) and your eyes rapidly adjust to the light in the room. The room itself is made of a smooth stone floor and smooth grey brick walls, like an elementary school hallway."
"The room is 25 feet wide by 25 feet long. The ceilings are indistinct as the light fades as it rises up the walls, but you think its maybe 15 feet to the ceiling. You are in the centre of one wall."
If you have a battle map, this would be the time to place their character or token onto the board and point out the size of the room.
"The only things in the room other than yourself and the bare stone walls and ceiling is a wooden table across the room. On that table sits a steaming hot and fresh pie." Pause here and ask what their favorite type of pie is, if they don't like pie; adapt and change the pie to something they really love. An indulgent dessert preferably but anything is good. "A steaming fresh "favorite food item." There is a plate and some utensils also on the table."
"Your stomach grumbles and you know with certainty that if you do not eat that "food item" you are going to die. What do you do?"
This is the point at which you have officially thrown the new player to the wolves. This is the tensest portion of this mini adventure, inevitably there will be some silence, likely some questions regarding what they can do. The key here is to put the player themselves into this situation. If they seem stuck, ask what they themselves would do in that situation.
There are no wrong answers. I have people go "ooh pie!" and rush over to take a bite. Others have adamantly allowed themselves to die rather than take a bite of that creepy dessert. I even had someone search through the pie for hidden explosives before getting angry and smashing the pie with a broken table leg. Any action is a good action.
Regardless of what happens, until they take a bite of that pie, remind them that everything in their brain is screaming at them to eat the pie or they will die.
Once the situation is resolved, honestly 9 times out of 10 they eat the pie, have the scene fade out. If they ate the pie, really insinuate the pie knocked them out. If they let themselves die, really ham it up that the pie almost looks sad like it wanted to be eaten. A ton of room here for some humour, good storytelling practice as well.
Step 5 -> The Second Room
Regardless of how the first room ended, read the following:
"You feel yourself slowly coming awake, cold stone beneath you. You have with you (list notable pieces of the characters gear, if any) and your eyes rapidly adjust to the light in the room. The room itself is made of a smooth stone floor and smooth grey brick walls, like an elementary school hallway."
"The room is 25 feet wide by 25 feet long. The ceilings are indistinct as the light fades as it rises up the walls, but you think its maybe 15 feet to the ceiling. You are in the centre of one wall."
Pause to see the reaction here. At first its confusion as you repeat the exact same words as you did a few minutes ago, then you continue:
"The only other things in the room other than yourself and the bare stone walls and ceiling is a wooden table across the room. On that table sits a steaming hot and fresh pie. Beside that table stands an Orc, arms crossed and staring at you silently. He wears the pelt of a wolf and a deadly looking axe rests against the corner where the table and the wall behind him meet. His eyes stare at you intently."
"Your stomach grumbles and you know with certainty that if you do not eat that "food item" you are going to die. What do you do?"
Now the fun starts happening in earnest. Is the Orc a bad guy? Will he defend the pie? Is the pie even his? The more questions the new player asks, the better this is going.
From this point on in this room, the options available are getting quite numerous. Again, all choices made are great. There should never be any lasting consequences for anything done during The Orc and The Pie. The new player may attack or talk, bargain or sneak. Rush the pie or convince the pie to come to them.
The key things to remember here are as follows:
The Pie - is just a pie and belongs to no one. It has always been in this room and will still be here long after these beings leave. It is the Ever-Pie, the Flaky One, It Who Bakes Justly... Seriously its just a pie.
The Orc - The Orc in this Second Room is as confused as the player is and has been debating whether to eat the pie as well. They will defend themselves if provoked but will try not to antagonize. Even if attacked The Orc will attempt to subdue and not kill.
If spoken to, The Orc will converse intelligently and speak truthfully. This Orc also has no idea why they are here. Once the Orc realizes the player also feels the need to eat the pie, The Orc will offer to share as there doesn't seem to be anything else either of you can do.
Aside from those notes, the rest is all adlibbed on your part. If you can accurately predict what everyone will do as they go through this scenario, good on you but I certainly cannot.
This room will end the same way, either eating the pie and fading out of consciousness or dying from lack of pie or potentially being killed by The Orc. Inevitably everything fades and you move on to the next room.
Step 6 -> The Third Room
Again, begin by reading the following:
"You feel yourself slowly coming awake, cold stone beneath you. You have with you (list notable pieces of the characters gear, if any) and your eyes rapidly adjust to the light in the room. The room itself is made of a smooth stone floor and smooth grey brick walls, like an elementary school hallway."
"The room is 25 feet wide by 25 feet long. The ceilings are indistinct as the light fades as it rises up the walls, but you think its maybe 15 feet to the ceiling. You are in the centre of one wall."
"The only other things in the room other than yourself and the bare stone walls and ceiling is a wooden table across the room. On that table sits a steaming hot and fresh pie. Beside that table stands an Orc, snarling and brandishing a battle-worn half moon axe and gesturing aggressively at you. A piece of pie sits beside the rest of the pie as though dropped, maybe you startled The Orc mid-pie?"
"Your stomach grumbles and you know with certainty that if you do not eat that "food item" you are going to die. What do you do?"
By now, the new player should already be showing signs of understanding the situation and forming a bit of a plan. If not, that's ok too, they may never have been in combat before. They may not want to fight they may fail entirely as The Orc murders them where they stand. As always, all outcomes are good outcomes.
The pie is the same old pie.
The Orc, however, is different - This Orc thinks if they do not eat the entire pie, they will die. And they also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the new player must also eat the entire pie, or they will die. The Orc believes it is a black and white situation and that one of you is going to die.
This Orc is not interested in talking though they will answer questions and react with words up until combat is engaged, at which point they will rage and lose all mental control as they blindly attack the new player.
Whatever system or game you are playing, this fight should be a bit difficult. Not anywhere near impossible but particularly difficult.
As with the first two rooms, the scene ends after taking a bite of the pie or the character dies. Inevitable darkness fades their vision and you move to the next room.
Step 7 -> The Final Room
More narration:
"You feel yourself slowly coming awake, cold stone beneath you. You have with you (list notable pieces of the characters gear, if any) and your eyes rapidly adjust to the light in the room. The room itself is made of a smooth stone floor and smooth grey brick walls, like an elementary school hallway."
"The room is 25 feet wide by 125 feet long. The ceilings are indistinct as the light fades as it rises up the walls, but you think its maybe 15 feet to the ceiling. You are in the centre of one wall."
"On the far wall 125 feet away is a table. Holding an all too familiar looking pie, steamy and delicious looking. You know with absolute certainty that if you do not eat any of that pie, you will die. What do you do?"
This room is unique in that it is not the same simple room. It also happens to be the last room.
The purpose of the fourth room is to throw a curveball similar to curveballs that might be thrown in the game later. Typically, I make this a trap room. The traps are nearly always hidden blade traps capable of slicing the character easily in half, Deadly if they see them, deadlier if they don't.
In D&D this is a great time to emphasize the use of skills instead of combat mechanics or role play. Other systems could use this room as a hacking tutorial with computer terminals placed around the room to slide open impenetrable glass walls. It could be a collapsing chase ala Raiders of The Lost Ark. Have fun with this room, make stuff up, try things out. The goal here is to illustrate the actions the new player can take and that those actions are limitless but also defined by the situation.
This scene should end similarly, death or delicious pie. Then the inevitable fade out and we move to the final step.
Step 8 -> In-Game
This part will be different in every campaign, at every table and for every system or game. But the essential thing here is that the new player's character wakes up suddenly. The exact circumstances of this waking up you should tailor to the game you are running so I can't give much in the way of ideas here. Just that the character themselves canonically had that dream.
To that character, the dream was real. No matter how frustrating the ordeal was for the player or how much fun it was or even how many times they died. It was all a dream.
Then you begin he session/campaign/episode or whatever it is those people are waiting for you to do.
***
The answers I get and choices the new player makes are invaluable as a pseudo psychological tool. You can more easily identify who this person is as a player. Maybe take a break after they wake up and let other players share anecdotes of their Orc and The Pie experiences. Maybe you jump right in if the new player does not need a break.
I have had people come out of this extremely excited and ready to go. I have had others absolutely need to go have some "fresh air" and take a minute. It is a strangely amazing experience that for some reason, 100% of people who have experienced it love it.
And I don't even feel bad tooting my own horn on this one, and usually I feel like a giant ball of awkward every time I pay myself a compliment.
***
If you read this and try it out, put a post up in the forum and tell everyone about how it went. I absolutely cannot wait to hear every version.
Good luck and enjoy.
Eric
I could not think of any real links I needed to add to this one so here: